Until death do us part

The death of a child is like none other. The impact shakes the world of parents in its entire being. This research tells the story of the author’s and other parent’s experience of the couple relationship after child bereavement. No parent or relationship was untouched by the death of their child. Parents tell about their life before child bereavement, the extremity of the experience as they struggled for control, the confusion that it brought and the role conflict that ensued. Although individuals and relationships are unique, most of these parents experienced emotional responses of grief, anger, loneliness, guilt and blame. Parents attempted to alleviate their anxiety through the use of defensive coping mechanisms and responses such as repression, suppression and avoidance. Attempts were made to fill the vacuum that the loss created through substitution and replacement. The couple’s communication is severely tested during the process. The permanence of the loss is acknowledged along with new meanings and values. The aftermath sees parent’s relationships strengthened, weakened or remaining in nominal relationships.